


When it hits you, it hits hard

by ramenandchill



Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: F/F, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Mental Health Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-14
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-22 07:28:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30035172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ramenandchill/pseuds/ramenandchill
Summary: Nayeon is seeing Mina but why are her friends giving her the look like they are about to cry? why is it just her who is seeing mina then?
Relationships: Im Nayeon/Myoui Mina
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11





	When it hits you, it hits hard

Nayeon was scribbling on a bond paper with pen tapping her lips, trying to pick the perfect word to write to her soon to be wife. She seems to be in a good mood, humming a song as she writes on the blank paper.

> _Minari…_   
>  _I do not know how to start this off so, I’m writing my thoughts to you._   
>  _It has been six months since you left and a week, I guess? I lost count of the days since you left. Things has not been the same ever since you left me alone here for your work. My friends surround me all the time but it has been so long ever since I felt something. It felt like all I feel is miss you and yearn for you._   
>  _All I do is think about you every time you’re not with me, days felt like years to be honest. But you will come back right? After all you said, it’s hard to leave me all alone. I will wait for you to return home._
> 
>   
>  _You, being far from home is what you said what we needed and as long as you have my shirt on, you’re right where you belong._   
>  _Right now, I’m wearing your hoodie and I’m right where I belong being surrounded by your scent and sometimes, I just get so jealous of the t-shirt I gave you for that it can hold you when I can’t._
> 
>   
>  _The truth is, I miss you already even before I know you were going to leave me to go overseas and I thinks this is how we know if we really care about someone else; we start missing them before they’re even gone. Sucks that I cannot go with you because I have work. What a bummer_
> 
>   
>  _each passing day, the space between us seems to actually starts to hurt the longer we cease to communicate but my friends said it’s what we both need since we might get tired of each other but I know better that I will never get tired of you or making you feel loved. I’ll be waiting for your arrival!_
> 
> _Hoping this reaches you,_   
>  _Your Nayeonnie ;)_

‘I’m so glad that you have been doing so well compared to our first meeting Nayeon-ah” the woman told her as she ask Nayeon to hand her work for the day  
Nayeon happily fold the bond paper in her hand and hand it over to the women looking at her with kind eyes.

“Mina would be so glad to meet you. You’re such a good companion and messenger!” Nayeon told her with the widest grin plastered on her face everytime Mina is the subject, the woman just nods at Nayeon.

“well Nayeon, are you willing to go through this world without Mina?” the woman asks while holding a pen and a notebook in hand. She saw how the grin on Nayeon’s face drops as her eyes looks dead after processing what she just heard.

“I do not like the world where Mina and I don’t exist together” the woman nods and Nayeon quickly changed the subject from one topic to another.

Her 2 hours session is just composed of unorganized thoughts and people that the therapist knew did not exist.

“okay Nayeon, I think we are done for the day. Your friend, Jeongyeon is waiting for you. Shall we go?” she grabs her therapist’s hands and walked out with her from her clinic and she waved at Jeongyeon who smiled at her and walked up to her  
“Nayeon-ah? Wait for me here okay? I’ll just talk to her” Jeongyeon said as she left Nayeon alone sitting from where she is awhile ago.

The therapist gave to Jeongyeon the letter Nayeon wrote. The girl sighed but the therapist gave her a smile

“it’s been six months since it happen and it’s been actually 4 months when you all realized something is wrong with Nayeon. She has the support system she need, I think you should actually join her when you visit her so she can slowly take in the reality she badly need to face.  
I also suggest that at least correct her when she blurts out something you know isn’t existing. It is hard to have someone with Schizophreniform but that is better rather than schizophrenia. This disorder last for 6 months but schizophrenia?  
Nayeon might have to suffer from the distorted reality for life. Do not give up on her.” The therapist console Jeongyeon who has been with Nayeon ever since.

“now that you’ve mentioned it? Ever since her girlfriend died, she never even went to the funeral or to her grave. Thank you for this, sunbae! I just can’t have anybody work on Nayeon and do a bad job at counseling. I’m happy that you were willing to help” Jeongyeon hug the woman to expressed her gratitude more  
“I know you will do the same if a friend of mine needed the help, Jeong.” The therapist said as she bids her farewell.

Jeongyeon walked out to check on Nayeon only to see the girl pacing back and forth. They went out of the clinic so that Nayeon can now have her rest.

Nayeon would either look out at the window, sit on the couch as she let kookeu sit on her lap or sleep all day. She would either be so depressed or be so hyper, nobody can predict what she’s about to feel next but one thing is certain, Nayeon doesn’t feel any kinds of emotion other than happiness and sadness. She doesn’t even get scared or worry anymore.

* * *

A month after,

Nayeon was doodling on the couch surrounded by lots of crumpled paper. The girls are all asleep and she’s still awake for some reason.

  
“Nayeonnie! What you doodling there hmm?” Nayeon turned around to see Mina looking at her work and smiling at her. She immediately shouted “MINARI” and engulfs the girl for a tight hug

  
“I’ve been waiting for you! Meanie! You did not even contact me. I missed you” Nayeon pouted and hits the girl’s chest softly.

“I’m sorry for leaving you alone, Nayeonnie. So, what are you doodling hmm?” Nayeon breaks their hug and picked her paper and showed it to Mina, it’s sketches of Mina’s faces. Nayeon has never been this good at sketches but she got every detail of Mina’s face right.

“this is me? Wow! You did great with working on your skills, Nayeonnie! I’m so proud of you.” Mina ruffles Nayeon’s hair and kiss her forehead  
“I’m waiting for Jeongyeon to come back so I can tell her you’re back. And we are leaving together” Mina gave her a sad smile and she holds her hand and tugs Nayeon since she was rambling.

  
“why don’t we go and look around the clinic then Nayeonnie?” Mina ask Nayeon which Nayeon nods. Walking around is a MiNayeon thing. As they were walking around Mina stopped at a room where it is slightly open.

  
“Nayeonnie, see her? She’s been here for 2 years now and I don’t want you to end up like her” Mina is now tearing up in front of Nayeon as Nayeon continues to look at the girl inside the hospital room.

  
“why would I end up that way, Minari? And how come you know her you don’t even work here” Nayeon whines as she tries to wipe the tears staining Mina’s eyes not even realizing she’s also tearing up.

  
“Nayeon, you’re sick in the head, the reason behind it? Is me and it kills me to see you like this. It’s been 7 months ever since I died, please Nayeon. Come back to our friends. they need you to be normal now. Everyone is rooting for your recovery. It breaks my heart to see you like this, this isn’t even my bunny anymore. I wanna see my energetic bunny back”

Mina was there breaking down as Nayeon was there crying with her. It hurts her to see Mina look so broken and vulnerable. She never wanted Mina to cry because of her and she’s sick because of Mina amd she can’t imagine how hurt Mina is looking at Nayeon right now

“Minariiii, don’t cry please? I beg you. Don’t cry. I’ll be better for you please?” Nayeon hugs the girl, her scent engulfs her nose. Mina is wearing the shirt she gave Mina so Mina won’t miss her that much.

  
“I’m wearing your shirt because every day I missed you so bad, Nayeonnie. Promise me you’ll try your best to recover” Nayeon even made pinky promise with Mina.  
“I’ll go now, Nayeonnie and no, you can’t join me.” Mina gave her a pointed glare when she saw Nayeon was about to say something. Nayeon pouted at her and Mina just kissed the crown of her head.

  
“take care of yourself, babe. Old Nayeon wouldn’t let others see her unattractive. I’ll bring this with me okay” Mina said and waved the paper full of Mina’s sketches. Nayeon can only just nod and just like that Mina is now gone.

  
“MINARI” Nayeon shouted her name hoping Mina would come back but to no avail, Mina did not.

While Nayeon was in her one world, this one morning was different. the rest of the girls are looking at Nayeon who has been shouting Mina’s name all over and having conversations. Nayeon is having her episodes again, being in her own world.

no one dares to show up in front of Nayeon for they were too busy crying for their dear friend and her inability to cope with the loss of a loved one that it has come to this, Nayeon hallucinating.

Jeongyeon casually walk to the kitchen to get coffee when Nayeon walked up to her after she calmed down from shouting Mina’s name and she can see how much weight did Nayeon lose, her eyes don’t even shine anymore but the way Nayeon hold her elbows to prevent her from getting coffee.

The girls all went out with red eyes and puffy face. To see Nayeon having this episode isn’t new to them but that doesn’t mean it hurts less for them.

“Mina just talked to me, Jeong. She was here awhile ago.” Jeongyeon raised her eyebrows and let Nayeon tell her what she just saw in her distorted world.

“she sat beside me while I was doodling and she asked if we can walk around and so we did, we walked around the hospital and see this person in a room looking dazed? I guess?  
Mina then said I should get better if I don’t want to end up that way. I’m not even sick Mina is weird but she said I am and it is hurting her that I turned this way. And then she walked away I asked if I can join her and she said I just can’t” Nayeon’s words made Jeongyeon stop sipping on her coffee.

Why is Nayeon talking about hospital when she’s at home? She fears that Nayeon might be getting even more worst. Jeongyeon squint her eyes at the possibility of it happening. The girls all look at her with bewildered looks on their face.

They all thought of the same thing as Jeongyeon. Their Nayeon unnie might be too far gone now.

  
Jeongyeon has been stressing about Nayeon and her case. If this thing of her last for more than 6 months, Nayeon may have her reality distorted for life.

The girls have been correcting Nayeon about things she blurts out that wasn’t even there.

But what surprises Jeongyeon is that Nayeon never had this thing with Mina.

Sure, she had this thing where Nayeon would dance around the room saying Mina is dancing with her but no one was actually there, an episode where Nayeon was bickering with a non-existent Mina, cooking with Mina but never Mina actually addressing Nayeon’s current situation

“am I sick in the head, Jeong?” Nayeon asked as her eyes are getting watery from the tears, she was trying to stop from falling but failed miserably when Jeongyeon nods.

Then Sana and Momo just can’t watch this anymore, they both went to work earlier just to stop being emotional. Dahyun, Chaeyoung, And Tzuyu kissed Nayeon’s forehead and cheeks which made the girl smile

  
“unnie, we love you don’t forget that” Dahyun said as Chaeyoung And Tzuyu went out of the house crying quietly. Jihyo and Jeongyeon are the ones left. Jihyo gave her a look that said ‘I’ll be leaving this all to you” then leave the house to go to work as well.

“I’ll repeat my question. Am I sick?” Nayeon ask when it’s just Jeongyeon and her alone.

  
“you have been sick, Nayeon. Right after Mina died, you kind of lost it. We thought you’re going through the stages of grief which is quite understandable.  
we accept it, we let you be. Your work fired you and I was about to notify you about it when I see you for the first time in two months, your room is filthy, you look like shit.

Heck you do not even know when was the last time you took a bath. What baffles me was that? You told me to be quiet cause Mina is sleeping.  
That’s what broke my heart Nayeon. As a psychiatrist, I should have been there for you as a friend but I failed and I just have to see you lose your mind.” Jeongyeon told Nayeon everything after all, her sunbae did say she needs to correct any distorted reality Nayeon would blurt out.

> Flashback  
> Jeongyeon got a call from Nayeon’s firm saying that Nayeon is terMinated due to her inability to report for work for two months now. Jeongyeon felt concerned for her friend after all, Mina is the love of her lfe.
> 
>   
> So she went to Nayeon’s unit shared with Mina. she entered the passcode for she is after all Nayeon’s emergency contact. When she gets inside the unit, everything is just a mess. Her bills are all overdue and there’s no Nayeon in plain sight.
> 
> She can only thank god kookeu lives with her only because Nayeon gave kookeu to her the day after Mina died saying she wanted to be alone.
> 
> She checked on Nayeon’s bedroom only to be greeted at the sight of tissue papers everywhere. Nayeon’s under the cover. She checked on Nayeon only to be greeted with a whine
> 
> “Jeongyeon-ah, Mina and I are still sleepy, let us have our peace please?” Nayeon sleepily said as she take the covers from Jeongyeon so that she can sleep only to let out a squeal wen Jeongyeo dragged her out of the bed
> 
> “what are you even saying Nayeon? Mina is now gone! It’s been two months! You did not even bother to attend her funeral or visit her grave but here you are telling me she’s alive under the covers with you?” Jeongyeon flipped as she held Nayeon on both of her shoulder to shake her hoping she would snap out of it, she looked around to see some marks on Nayeon too, they’re healed up but you can see the lines that cut through the skin.
> 
> She also sees that there are random doodles and writings piled up. Jeongyeon was crying and normally Nayeon would eb hugging her but all Nayeon did was look at her indifferently.
> 
> Nayeon did smell bad too and Nayeon never in her life smelled bad or has bad hygiene. Nayeon would look pretty and smell good even if there was a zombie apocalypse happening.
> 
> Jeongyeon dragged Nayeon to the shower and let the shower hits Nayeon body. Since she saw the cuts on Nayeon’s forearm, she realized she needs to see the rest of her body.
> 
> “Nayeon, I will take your clothes off okay? So, you can take a bath” Jeongyeon asks before she pulls Nayeon shirt up
> 
> “why? Is Mina taking me out on a date?” Nayeon said with no enthusiasm or cuteness but Jeongyeon was busy gasping as she saw Nayeon’s stomach filled with lines. She cut herself. She did not even have to take Nayeon’s short to see that even her thigh has cuts everywhere. Jeongyeon was crying for her friend and for what she has turned into.
> 
> Nayeon is definitely not going through the stages of grief since this is more serious than that. She decided Nayeon needs professional help so she helps Nayeon take a bath and cleaned herself even with dressing up, she helped cause Nayeon can’t even afford to stand up straight.
> 
> She sent a text to her friends informing them of what happen to Nayeon as they are on the way to her sunbae’s workplace. When they find out after a series of test and check-ups that Nayeon has Schizophreniform, her friends decided to live in one house to take care of Nayeon when it’s their day off. All of them were more than willing to do so.
> 
> The therapist advice to never leave Nayeon alone since she has suicidal tendencies. And they all agreed that they would let Nayeon just blurt out everything not letting Nayeon rememeber that Mina is dead. Sometimes it is hard to watch their friend cause it breaks them that they did not lose one friend but it felt like they lost Nayeon too.
> 
> End of flashback

“so, can we visit Mina now if you don’t have anywhere else to go?” Jeongyeon just looked at Nayeon.

There was silence after Jeongyeon told Nayeon about Mina being dead. Back then, Nayeon can’t even form a sentence but now, she can now talk straight but sometimes, she would blurt random things that does not make sense.

“well, we might as well visit her to deliver your letter” Jeongyeon said and Nayeon just nods as she looks out the window and sighs heavily.  
“Jeong, what happen to Mina?” Nayeon asked and this caught Jeongyeon off guard.

Nayeon refuses to listen to it when they knew that Mina died and kind off isolate herself.

  
“she was on her way for a business trip. you said you won’t say goodbye to her that time because you don’t even want her to go. We all chuckled because we both know Mina will come back and you’re being overdramatic.

  
the next day, you received a news about a plane that crashes and Mina was one of the passenger that did not make it.

You gave me a shirt you used and told me that Mina should use it for her funeral and when she’s cremated.

  
That’s the last thing we heard from you because you did not attend her funeral nor visit her grave.” Jeongyeon said as she ignore the ache in her heart as she look back to how Mina died.

  
Maybe if she was her whipped self that did not board the plane and come home with Nayeon, cancelling her flight..

Mina might be alive, Nayeon might be still the best Lawyer, and they might be preparing for their wedding now instead of Jeongyeon driving Nayeon to Mina’s grave.

“thank you for telling me the story, Jeong” Nayeon smiled as she wipes the tears away from her eyes, ignoring the occasional stares Jeongyeon gave her.

  
After an hour of long drive, they came to halt to a mountain.

  
“we are here, Nayeon! Are you ready?” Nayeon nods as Jeongyeon hold her hand. They stopped to this one grave that has “myoui Mina” written all over the tombstone. Jeongyeon gave Nayeon her private space

“hi Minari!! I’ll leave this letter for you for the last time” Nayeon looks at the grave of Mina as she sees all the letters she does during therapy. She looks at Jeongyeon and mouthed a thank you

“hoping you get to see this too, Minari. This will be the last time I am sending this letter to you and this will be the last time you will see me, being sick. I will try to focus on being better and when I do, I will visit you then. I won’t break your heart more for being sick. I told my therapist about you and I just found out right now that I’m in therapy for failing to cope to the pain, the stress, and the trauma of losing you this early.  
I should have known I was unwell and you’re gone when she asked me if I can live without you and you know what I said? that I cannot live this world where you and I don’t exist. I guess I’ll have to start getting used to facing this world where you don’t exist anymore it’s making me sick and our friends worried for me.  
I’m sorry, Mina but I know you will be happy to hear this. Don’t worry cause for me, you did not cease to exist, your memories and you live in my heart.  
No more fake world where you exist with me.

Jeongyeon said I should get out of that world and today, I’ll be taking my steps out of that world I formed. I will be happy from now on, Minari. Wait for me in our next life okay? We will definitely grow old together. I’ll be nice this life so I can be born again at the same time that you do in another life” Nayeon continues to talk to Mina’s grave.

Jeongyeon looks at Nayeon and see how far Nayeon has come after being diagnosed with a disorder.  
It took what? Nayeon seeing Mina and Mina saying it is breaking her heart to see Nayeon sick.

she can now breathe in relief as Nayeon takes the first step to getting better. Accepting that Mina is no longer existing in this world.

“so this is me, your Nayeonnie accepting the fact that the distance between us isn’t just space nor time, the distance between us is that you’re six feet under me now.  
Minari, I didn’t get to say goodbye to you, I just didn’t know that it will be the last time that I will ever get to say that.

I love you,Minari. Always” Nayeon kissed the ground Mina was buried in as her tears fell on her eyes.

She has found a path to be better and the reason behind it? Still the reason as to why she has lost her sanity, MINA MYOUI.

Nayeon walked up to Jeongyeon and hugged the girl

“let’s go Jeong”Nayeon simply said not without taking one last look on Mina’s grave where she sees Mina smiling and waving at her telling her to go

“Mina seems happy with the talk that you did huh?” Jeongyeon bump Nayeon’s shoulder which the girl nods to.

For now, Jeongyeon doesn’t care if it’s Nayeon’s hallucination or Mina’s stubbornness to have the sky guardian let Nayeon see Mina and talk to her. Whatever it is, it will lessen Jeongyeon’s worries towards the girl getting worst because Nayeon did promised Mina she will get better and Nayeon never broke a promise she swore on Mina.

* * *

3 months later….

“Jeong? Can you help me?” Nayeon said as she peeks on Jeong’s room

“Momo and Sana forget which medicine do I stopped taking now?’ Nayeon said as she gave Jeongyeon all her prescribed medicines.

“Nayeon, didn’t sunmi told you that today is the day where you can quit on your medications? Jeongyeon smiled when she saw Nayeon smiles.

She knows she won’t be taking the medications and for the girls to know that their unnie is recovering and is better than before.

Nayeon being true to her words focused on recovering and even asking the girls if what she is seeing is what they are seeing too, she’s much better now and she’s also working in Momo’s café and Nayeon sometimes take on cases that won’t trigger her. Just small cases that the girls approved of.

Nayeon is slowly coming back to her annoying, narcissist ass that her friends love so much.

“thank you, girls! For walking this path with me and not giving up on me. I know it wasn’t hard you all are coping with Mina’s death to but you had to set that aside to take care of me. I’m sorry for being a baggage to you all.” Nayeon said as she wraps the girls into a hug that turns into a group hug  
“you’re worth it, Nayeon unnie! And you are never a baggage to us. You are our unnie that needed our love.” and just like that Nayeon is being showered with kisses mainly by Momo and Sana and Nayeon kissing each one of them saying I love you to all of them.  
Jeongyeon never thought that this day would come where Nayeon would be recovering and she will see the smile on Nayeon’s face and the girls being pampered with affection coming from Nayeon as well. she is glad that the girls is not having any hallucinations.

The scars all over her body are all gone now. The girls all worked hard for those scars to go away so It won’t remind future Nayeon of the pain she’s been through. Although they are her battle scars but she thinks Nayeon is better of the reminder of the darkest phase of her life that lead her to therapy.

_**END**_

**Author's Note:**

> This was made because of a school activity and my professor happened to like how this one turned out. i was exempted in my abnormal psychology prelims because of this so now, I am sharing this to all of you.  
> the lapses on how therapy works, i apologize for that. i just can't write how psychotherapy works. since, i'm still learning about it. 
> 
> Thank you for reading this story. i hope you enjoyed it.


End file.
